Survival & love
by swallowmyfanfics
Summary: Freddie Mclair has survived the brutal attack of John Foster, but has now got to deal with the outcomes and consequences. Effy Stonem has overcome her depression and now has to deal with new emotions and feelings and face just how much she loves Freddie.
1. Chapter 1: Survival

**I decided to write this fanfiction because I was unhappy with the way Freddie was killed off in skins.**

**This is my first fanfic I've ever written so I'm open to any criticism you have of it. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the TV show 'Skins' or the characters included in this fanfiction.**

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**Freddie's P.O.V**

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Run, that's all I can do, run. Run away from the pain, run to her. The only things still vivid in my mind are her face, and the cause of my pain. That man, the psychiatrist had beaten me fucking hard, he wanted Effy to himself. He had been hitting me with that fucking baseball bat; I managed to trip him over… That wasn't enough; I couldn't escape with him still conscious. I picked up that bat and hit him until he was out stone cold. I searched his body until I found the keys, and ran.

I'm running in a daze, I can't recognise any of the streets. The psychiatrist has probably done some damage to me. Every time I see something move or hear a noise, I have to move… I'm scared he's coming after me. I must be near to Effy by now; I have been running for a while. Tears are falling from my eyes now, she trusted him and he tried to kill me. She's not the one who needs treatment… Mr John T Foster does.

I'm at the hospital now, I walk in and it's silent, as per usual. I go searching for Effy, I get to her room and stand in the doorway… She's asleep. She looks so beautiful when she sleeps. She finally senses me and stirs.

"Freddie, what the fuck happened to you?"

"John T Foster happened to me." I replied before collapsing onto the floor.


	2. Chapter 2: Hiding love

**I'm a boy so my writing in a girl's point of view might not be the best, enjoy anyway:)**

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**Effy's P.O.V**

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After Freddie fell on the floor, I screamed… I screamed until my throat hurt. They tried to take him to hospital without me, I didn't let them. He looked horrible; his face was dirty and covered in dried blood. His head looked caved in on the side. I can't comprehend John doing this, he looked after me… He told me he cared about me. I'm sitting in the hospital waiting room while Freddie is being tested, he could have brain damage. I hope he hasn't, I don't want to look after him the way he did me. I'm selfish… I guess but I can't help it.

I've been sitting here for hours, Emily and Katie came to see me, so did Cook. Cook, he's sensational in bed… I won't lie, but he lacks what Freddie has. I can't love Cook, it just couldn't work. People rush by me, no one notices me, I'm usually ever noticed when I wear revealing clothes. Freddie loves me though, I don't doubt that… He stayed with me through all the shit I went through, now I have to return the love.

Finally a nurse comes and tells me I can see him, I smile and thank her. There's a doctor in the room with him.

"Your boyfriend has taken several severe blows to the head, it is more than likely he has brain damage but it is a miracle he is still alive."

I smile weakly and nod my head as he walks out of the room. Freddie is asleep so I go and crouch next to his hospital bed.

"Fred, if you can hear me, I want you to know it's always been you, always. From the moment I you caught my eye; I knew it was you… Not Cook or JJ, you. I fucked Cook because I was insecure and selfish and I didn't want to admit to my love for you. I wish I had faced the truth sooner, because maybe you could have helped me before that bastard Foster met me, before he tried to kill you."

I start to cry, and then I hear his voice.

"Effy fucking Stonem, you're fucked up and you treat people like shit, but I love you and no matter what I have to go through I will love you forever, forever. Cook knew you loved me but you know him, you know what it does for him to know he can sleep with a girl whose heart belongs to someone else."

He pulls me up onto the bed and into his arms; we lie there for hours, content in listening to each other's breath, peaceful in each other's arms. Our bodies fit together perfectly, it's the first time someone other than Tony has made me feel special. Freddie doesn't make me weak, he makes me stronger than I could ever have imagined.

Doctors and nurses come in; they tell me I have to leave.

"Fuck off, I'm staying with my boyfriend until he's better, I don't care what you say."

They start to get angry, tell me I can't stay with him… One nurse seems to understand, takes the group away and speaks to them, whatever she says gets through to them and they piss off. The nurse lingers in the doorway.

"I'm sorry it happened to him, I had a boyfriend who went through something similar, and it hurts like fuck doesn't it? Don't do what I did, don't leave him to suffer alone, he'll need you more than ever right now."

She smiles sympathetically and briskly walks away. I get a cup of water and then go to lie back down with Fred; kissing his forehead before cuddling up in his arms. Freddie changed me, he made me softer, but I guess that isn't a bad thing.

I don't know what would have happened to me if Fred died, gone crazier I guess. That doesn't matter though because he's here with me and not dead, that's all that matters to me now, him.


	3. Chapter 3: Shadows

**More chapters will be coming soon.**

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**Freddie's P.O.V**

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Days pass in a blur, Effy stays with me no matter what. Visits from the gang, JJ with flowers; Cook with his stupid jokes. Katie comes and she and Effy read me books sometimes. Karen sobbing by my side, dad comforting her. Effy is the thing that makes everything better, she is there through the nightmares and pain…. I get told I have severe brain damage, we cry the night away. Things don't make as much sense as they used to, I probably won't be able to go to university. They tell me I can't drink much anymore, or smoke or anything like that. Once the whole gang visits, we sit together and it almost feels like normal. Sometimes I feel like shit, sometimes I feel on top of the world, and then I get discharged….

I get scared to go out without people I know surrounding me; I hide away with Effy in the shed. Sometimes I get crazy and lash out at everyone, excluding Effy, I become suicidal and start to hang off the top of my roof just for the adrenaline rush. I'm scared to speak to strangers; I talk little to anyone and spend a lot of the time doing nothing. I become a shadow of myself. I start skateboarding again, late at night, sometimes Effy watches, and sometimes she doesn't. I'm nowhere as good as I used to be, but I don't give a shit, the pain when I fall off the board gives me kicks.

I cry a lot, I don't do drugs or drink anymore. Effy stops as well, we decide to call ourselves the 'deranged duo,' Sometimes we sit and stare at each other for hours, thinking. It's like we are one, we do everything together and we quite often can tell what the other one is thinking or feeling. Sometimes we go out with everyone and have a good time, watch them get wasted and stoned. Slowly Effy starts to get me back into myself, I stop skateboarding, I eat more, and I get less suicidal. We make each other strong. Effy isn't depressed and I'm not afraid to go out. I finally realise John Foster won't be coming back to haunt me.

Karen goes away with dad for the week; she's managed to get some audition with a record label in Scotland. We have the gang round; we all get high and pissed. It feels great, I feel peaceful and content with myself for the first time. Naomi and Emily disappear into my sister's room. JJ has changed; he seems a lot more confident and happy with himself. Thomas and Pandora seem to have made up and are sitting together on the stairs. Katie, Cook, JJ, Effy and I are sitting on the sofas in the living room. Cook is out of his head on God knows what.

"You know man; we should go and speak to that fucktard Foster in prison."

JJ tenses at this, always the sensible one.

"I don't think Effy or Freddie could deal with that if I'm honest Cook, he did try to kill our best friend remember?"

Katie looks like she feels the same as Cook and turns to myself and Eff.

"It might give you guys closure and all that bullshit."

"Maybe but I don't wanna freak out in prison and go apeshit, or for Eff to get upset… Eff it's up to you I guess…"

We sit in silence for a while, inhaling the weed fumes. Effy sit's up.

"We should do it, that bastard needs to know just how much I fucking hate him, I want him to suffer for what he did to you Fred."

Cook smiles cocky smirk that comes along every time he gets what he wants, and jumps up from the sofa.

"It's decided then, we're gonna visit old fucker Foster in prison, and mess with his head."  
I seriously hope we aren't gonna get in trouble for what we're going to do.


	4. Chapter 4: Stronger

**Effy's P.O.V**

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He was nervous, no not nervous… He was shitting himself. It was obvious to me, I always knew what Freddie Mclair was thinking or feeling. The first way I knew was that he had brought his skateboard, the one he had told me he'd given up on because 'he only needed it when he felt shitty.' He also did this tapping thing with his fingers on his legs when he was nervous, it was so slight that Freddie didn't even notice… I did though; I notice every tiny detail about this boy.

I guess you could say we're inseparable, me and Fred. We were together ninety percent of the time, and as cheesy as it sounds, we are never apart. We are in sync, thinking similar thoughts. Freddie is the only person besides Tony who understands me and treats me with respect. Freddie doesn't just want to fuck me, he wants to know me. Fred is the first person who I have been sure loves me. I look at him with my usual wonder; he is so wonderfully beautiful in every possible form. He senses my eyes on him and turns to me, stopping his skateboard, smiling.

"You OK?"

"I'm more than fine to be honest; being with you makes me feel… Special. What are you feeling at the moment?"

_Like I needed him to tell me._

"I'm shitting myself if I'm honest; I'm scared he'll try to hurt us."

I smile sympathetically, I understand. He pulls me up onto the skateboard and wraps my arms around him. As we roll on his board we catch up with Cook, he rolls his eyes at us.  
"You trying to rub it in Freds?"

Fred just laughs. I lean into his back and smell him, he smells so good. He is irresistible; I just want to kiss him all the time. We're ahead of everyone now, way ahead.

"Freddie I love you more than you could ever imagine and I won't let him touch you, no matter what."

I felt his hairs stand on end at my words.

"Eff, you know I love you more than you could love me."

I know this is true; he doesn't hide anything from me and tells me everything, except…

"Freddie, what did Foster say to you before he hurt you?"

He tenses up; I feel his emotions change to sadness.

"He told me you really do love me, and that was why he couldn't let me go. He was way obsessed with you Eff, I think he wanted me out of the way."

"He did, but he didn't get you, he only made us stronger Fred."

I hug him as tight as possible and kiss his back.


	5. Chapter 5: Together

"You're a dickhead, Foster"

We've been here for over 45 minutes now, Foster sitting there silently with Cook abusing him. Emily and Naomi went off about five minutes ago so it's just me, Eff, Cook and him. I keep going to speak but no words will come out, I'm shitting bricks. Eff keeps looking at me sympathetically… How weak I must look to her, the girl of mystery. My girl. I have to keep reminding myself she's mine; it's like if I forget for a second she will slip through my fingers.

The only thing I can feel is Effy's hand in my own sweaty one. So many questions are rushing through my head, why are we here? What are we going to achieve by being here? Cook's at it again, shouting abuse.

"WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING REPLY? SCARED OF ME MATE? ATTACKING MY BEST MATE, TRYING TO KILL HIM? DO YOU KNOW WHO I FUCKING AM? I'M COOK."

He's getting out of hand now, it looks like he's going to stab someone, before I know what I'm doing I've got my hand on my shoulder and telling him to let me take over. He storms out muttering under his breath, I don't know where he's gone off to strop, and I don't care either. Eff scoots next to me and grabs my hand, reaches up and whispers to me. Foster sees this and looks pained. I hear my voice.

"So Foster, when were you going to tell me how you were making my girlfriend worse and wanted to kill me? Oh wait you weren't were you? Is John Foster even your real fucking name? The amount of bullshit these days, why should I give two fucks about my elders? You think me dying would of helped you? Would of left her open for you? She'd get even more fucked up you twat. You sick-headed fuck, didn't you know my friends would come for you? They may have their fucking problems but they care about what happens to me. You're a low-life, no one cares about you, _**no-one**_."

I spat the last words out as if they were venom, they tasted horrid in my mouth but they needed to be said. I feel hot tears streak down my face, I feel like my whole body is shutting down. I can hear a distant voice, Effy's voice, almost like a distant memory.

"Listen to me Fred, you're ok. You're fine. You're absolutely fine."

I slump on the chair, I can hear Effy crying and shouting.

"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE YOU CUNT? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? IS THIS WHAT YOU FUCKING WANTED TO ACHIEVE?"

I can see her, well a blurred form of her… It was definitely her, her figure, her piercing blue eyes. My Eff. She is pleading for something. Pleading for me.

"Wake up Fred, please wake up. It's ok!"

There's another voice now, a masculine voice. It sounds almost gleeful, excited… Of course, Foster.

"Hello Effy, pleased to see me again? I'm glad to see you. I'm sorry about your boyfriend, I know how much you love him but in the end, you're mine."

Effy ignores him, speaking solely to me.

"Fred he can't hurt us, just please wake up… For me."

Those words brought me back to life, I feel my eyes snap wide open; I sit up, holding my head, it feels like it's been hit repeatedly by a hammer. I ignore the pain and I grab Effy's hand. We walk out of that disgusting building; Together, Hand in hand.


End file.
